HOW AM I? I am okay. Yes, that means I am fine. I don't think there is anything wrong with being fine. It's okay being fine, right? I don’t have to be fantastic or great all the time, do I? That would prove too exhausting for me and, ultimately, it would feel like a lie. I can guarantee you that in the short hours of this morning; I will experience a myriad of emotions. I will deal with clients who will trivialize my participation, argue when there's no argument, and then presume my character. I will experience disappointment, anger, and frustration. I will also wake up to my dog, take a walk on a beautiful path, and create something that wasn’t there before. I will feel love, expose myself to the beauty of nature, and my soul will be fed. It's not my intention to concentrate on the negative, and I won't live in la-la land where everything is wonderfully magical. I intend to plant my feet firmly on this earth with my head looking forward. That feels honest and good. I'm okay.
fine : very well or all right
Someone told me once that our life's path resembles waves in the ocean with ups and downs. We enjoy the highs and try to avoid the lows, but for most of our lives, we reside in the middle. When I live only in the highs, I can be left feeling low when I am actually in the middle; I think I am depressed when I am actually just fine. Likewise, when I have a terrible week, I may feel elated to have a mundane day. Either way, I observe this in myself when I communicate with extreme language. Words like tremendous and amazing lose their meaning or impact when carelessly overused. As well, I am left with a verbal cue that, if I think about it, leaves me feeling less. Not so much as being less excellent or fantastic but like I am less of a whole or real person. I’ve not only negated the other side of the coin, but I am presenting it as a wooden nickel. I am not a wooden nickel. Now, I will be depressed. And subsequently, I get stressed quickly, which limits my emotional vocabulary and leaves me feeling misunderstood. This scenario is not horrible. No need to put a label on it. I am trying to avoid a trigger, own my emotions, and establish better habits. The key or a key is to be okay with being okay.
I do try to concentrate on what's right instead of what's wrong. I not only want people to see me as a positive person, but I also want to be a positive person. I can be optimistic with a healthy dose of pessimism. Likewise, I understand there is something to putting on a smile when you feel down. When I’m feeling introverted, I try to make sure I spend some time out and around people. When I’m thinking too hard, I’ll busy my hands. These mental exercises do work. They are intellectual ideas applied to alter my emotional state. And, this is not to say that you can't experience and relate instances that are great and amazing. I do, but I try to do so only when it applies. Otherwise, we risk insincerity. And, what do I care that everywhere you go, and everyone you meet is the best and most unusual. You are great — and that's great for you. I'm fine. So, fine is good. Maybe next time I'll just say I'm good. JMP