TO HAVE FOUND YOUR CALLING, your purpose in life, a reason for being must be great. To know you have a reason for being here on this blue and green marble must provide a real sense of being. I don't know how that feels because I don’t know my purpose. For the past fifty years, knowledge of a reason for existence has evaded me. This “sense of being” is a source of angst. Like “happiness”, I am never concerned about it until someone asks. Then I have a tendency to think too deeply, and the question confuses me. What I thought was sound suddenly seems shaky. Like when someone turned to me the other day and said that there must be a reason for us being here. I laughed because I don’t know that there is a reason for being here, and I don’t know that there isn’t, either. I simply do not know, and I don’t need to know. I don’t need a purpose either. I am happy.
happy : feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation
A friend recently told me they have more wings than roots. These words resonate with me greatly since I have always reveled in my ability to suddenly pick up and drastically change my life. I’ve spent a month in Paris, traveled down the Nile river between Christmas and New Year’s, and recently taken tango lessons in Buenos Aires. Ever thought of living in New York, Chicago, and Miami? Ever want to live in a cabin with a tin roof on the edge of a national forest? I thought about it and did. If I didn’t like my work, I quit. I can follow my passion. I appreciate that I can do this. I am not tethered in relationships that demand I be willing and present. I never wanted to be married. Well, for a few seconds, and then it passed. Like wanting to have kids, I sometimes think it would be cool but then I spend time with them. Please, don’t get me wrong, I sincerely appreciate that souls complete each other and children can provide a purpose. I am envious of both those things, but for me, I’m already complete and I don’t need a purpose. I don’t need a reason. I don’t do good works because I want to go to heaven; I do good works because I want to be good. I prefer being nice to not being nice. I live a healthy life. Why wouldn’t I be happy?
I know the human mind cannot conceive of the infinite, imagine a color never seen, or know why Dish TV just offered me 1000 channels. This is where faith flourishes. To not rely on what you believe is but rather hold the thought that something wholly is. It is a subtle distinction between the statements “I believe” and “It is”. We don’t say I believe there is the sun, we say there is the sun. With a strong faith, I have no questions or need for answers that I don’t want to know or could even understand. It is what it is. And to quote Mahatma Gandhi, “To believe something and not live it, is dishonest.” So, to my great relief, I have no porpoise in life. Life is simply a gift and what we do with that gift gives it a purpose. This makes me feel good, and I am left content. That is the definition of happy. JOE